just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
