Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
