dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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