she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
