Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
