put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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