Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
