well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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