Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize