You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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