there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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