And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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