I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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