I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
