Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
