carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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