So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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