hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
