She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
