Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
