What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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