My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
