You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it's like iHOP with fire
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize