Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
