so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
