I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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