I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Terrible idea I love it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize