If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
