is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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