just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
