Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
