I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
