That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
