from now on my penis is your penis
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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