Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
