Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
When are your genitals available?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
