Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize