love makes seman taste better
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize