yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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