You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
