there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
