your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
