the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I just sharted jello shots
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