That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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