To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
