just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
