I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
