Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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(305): View more from Florida

nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.

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(443): View more from Maryland

they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them

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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?

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