Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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