you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
