Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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