Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
