So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
