I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
