Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize