In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
