WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
