I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
