physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
