My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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