nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
