so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize