i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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