I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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