It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
