hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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